Family and marriage
A strong family life is important to Bahá'ís because the family is seen as the fundamental building block of communities and nations.
They believe that strong and loving families are essential for society to work properly.
Marriage - a joining of body and spirit
Bahá'ís regard marriage as the natural and normal way for people to live.
A Bahá'í marriage should join the participants in both body and spirit, in a 'spiritual relationship and everlasting union'.
Shoghi Effendi described marriage as a divine institution and a most sacred and binding tie that should lead to a profound friendship of spirit, which will endure in the next world.
However marriage is not the central purpose of life, and those who do not marry are not second-class citizens.
Marriage - a new entity
The idea of marriage as a union is particularly important to Bahá'ís as they see the joining together of two separate people to form a new entity - a marriage - as an example of God acting as a unifying principle.
When a man and a woman marry they form a unity that has a common purpose in life and in the worship of God.
For a marriage to have true unity the partners must treat each other as equals. Abdu'l-Bahá said that the partners should be like "two intimate friends".
Choosing a partner
Bahai's believe that people should be free to choose their partners; arranged marriages are not permitted.
A couple should only agree to marry after they have spent time getting to know each other very well - and not just at the level of superficial attraction.
The couple must get the consent of both sets of parents, so that the marriage will have the support of both families. (And the parents may refuse consent for any reason they like.)
The wedding
A Bahá'í wedding can take whatever form the participants want; the only essential is that both partners say "We will all, verily, abide by the will of God" in front of witnesses. In some countries a secular wedding ceremony is also required to make the marriage legal.
Divorce
Bahá'ís disapprove strongly of divorce - Bahá'u'lláha and Abdu'l-Bahá made it clear that divorce is abhorred - but it is not banned.
Divorce should be avoided most strictly by the believers, and only in rare and urgent circ*mstances be resorted to.
Letter from the Universal House of Justice, 1948
There are no specific grounds for divorce laid down for Bahá'ís. Instead, divorce is acceptable only if
an irreconcilable antipathy exists between the two parties to the marriage
Universal House of Justice, 1989
This means a great deal more than just a lack of love for one's spouse.
Practical matters
Bahá'ís wanting a divorce are required to announce their intention to divorce and then live apart for a year before they get it.
During the year they should attempt a reconciliation with the help of the local spiritual assembly. This cooling-off period gives the couple a chance to put things right.
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